Sunday, October 4, 2009

Pardon the Silence...

Yes, it's been that long.

Between work and training, there just hasn't been enough time for regular updates. That is laziness on my part, and I apologize. There is so much to tell you, which overwhelms me, and probably led to me not posting on those few occassions that I had time to post.

I will be brief, and just leave you with a few digestible chunks before I can get to a few more updates:

-Liam is doing really well. He is receiving both chemotherapy and radiation, but goes to school when he can, and smiles through it all. He continues to be an inspiration to me, and to all who meet him. Please read Gretchen's blog about their family's journey through neuroblastoma, "Prince Liam the Brave."

-I am in the enviable position of having too much work. as I said before, which had led to my lack of posts.

-I recently started swimming lessons, which right now are more drowning avoidance than actual swimming, but I am now able to go 50 yards without my heart exploding out of my body. Strange how I can run marathons, but can barely make it across the pool. Different set of muscles, I know.

Most importantly, as of today, the total going to the Aubrey Fund for Pediatric Cancer Research in honor of Liam is


I'm hoping to make it to $4000 before the end of the month. Can you help? If you want to donate a little cheddar towards the Fund, click here. The hundreds of children now cancer-free thanks to the research and treatment funded by the Aubrey Fund will tell you it's worth it.

There are many people to thank for that, and the latest are
and my brother


I have had a lot of difficulties with my training this year.

First of all, I'm a woman of a certain age.

Secondly, I've embarked on a new career that in many ways is a lot more demanding in terms of my time. So stress levels are different.

Did I mention I was a woman of a certain age?

Let's face it -- I'm in peri-menopause. Because menopause apparently isn't fun enough, your body gives you a three-to-five year preview. Everything in my body is just a little out of whack.

And that, apparently, makes all the difference between legs of iron, and legs of lead.

My Tuesday and Thursday workouts have all been great. I've really been pushing myself and trying hard. And I've been doing a lot of cross-training, and the swimming is really beneficial. As far as cardio is concerned, no problems.

But each long run is slower than the last. Our 20-miler this past Saturday I did in 3:33. That's slower than my first year's long runs. That should have been at a 3:10, or 3:15. My legs just don't have the turnover or bounce that they did. (Well, that's not totally true. They bounce, all right. That's why I have to wear compression shorts. Speaking of which, I've also started wearing compression calf guards to help with the shin splints. It's a wonder that, between the two, my knees don't explode.)

What I am hoping is that this is a combination of the weather -- every long run we've done over the last month has been in either the rain or in extreme humidity -- and the constant training. But I fear that is only some of the problem. I mean, our workouts were just as intense in years past, and I was always able to improve on my long runs. I think that the problem is something that I can push through, but can't push past, and that is, simply, that you can fight Mother Nature only so hard before she fights back.

I am extremely disappointed that I feel timing-wise, I'm no better than when I started running marathons four years ago. I really thought this was going to be the year I broke four hours. But I don't think this is going to be the year.

Nevertheless, I am not giving up. I am really trying not to let it get to me. It's where I am that's what's important, not where I was. I need to accept that, and concentrate on the mile that I'm running. It's not easy, and making it even harder is that these long runs have become very emotional for me. Poor Coach Jeff had to deal with my messitude after Saturday's race. Again.

I need to remember that I am running for a reason far more important than breaking a time goal.

But wouldn't it be nice...

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