Do You Believe In...

This week I was good, I ran Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Monday I stayed on the path and did a five-miler. Wednesday I did the crazy bridle path in the ice for 4 1/2, and Friday I did five going clockwise, stopping at NYRR to pick up my race number. They all actually felt good. I bought a face mask from Harriet Carter (that's right, people. Harriet Carter) that helps me breathe better in the colder air, but makes me look even more ridiculous than I already look when I run (thanks to my beloved, but admittedly goofy-looking, VFFs). So I was looking forward to this morning's outing.

Today was the Gridiron Four-Miler in Central Park. The first actual race I would be running since July. The Midnight Run wasn't a race, and the Fred Lebow 5-Miler was called due to weather. So much for getting my nine races in without actually running any of them.

I was also weirdly scared. I really want to get back to the joy of running, and one of the ways I've been doing that is by not wearing a watch. The times I've been on the treadmill, the clock is unavoidable, but I'm really not wanting to see how fast -- or in my case, how slow I'm going. I just want to put the miles in and enjoy them. And I get crazy competitive when I race, in my own mind, at least. So today was going to be both a test of my ability to run my own race, and also to see what my time is for the first time since June or July, really.

37 degrees, a brilliant temperature. Ducked into the third-to-last corral -- I have no delusions. NYRR does, though -- they calculate your corral based on your fastest mile in a race over four miles, but they don't update that every year. It's your fastest mile ever with NYRR. For me, that's a 7:58 from 2007. Ha ha! Like I'll be reaching THAT again any time soon. I have enough good sense to not go near my own corral. Even when I could run that pace, I want to start slow and build up, so I start in a slower corral to hold myself back for the first few miles.

And we're off. So far back we didn't hear the starting horn. Took over eight minutes to get to the starting line. Chug-a-lug with the pack up Cat Hill and up the East Drive. Thinking I'd like to be at a 10:00 pace, that I'd happy with a finish between 40 and 41. Much happier to be slightly under, of course. But I didn't want to push. Just wanted to run.

As I passed the mile 1 marker I tried not to look at my watch, but did and saw the split -- 9:58. Really? Normally my first mile is closer to 10:30 because of the crowding.

Up East Drive heading to the transverse. Ran into Teammate Maureen. She's also been out of the game for a while with injuries. She's taking it easy, too. We separated on the transverse. Got water. A woman next to me told me she thought the race started at 102nd, not 72nd, had to run back to the start line and just barely made it across before they took it up. Mile 2 -- 9:41. Didn't feel like it, but then again, I'm not sure what running at a certain time feels like anymore.

Fun thing -- NYRR split the transverse into Packers side and Steelers side. Run on the side you're rooting for. They used the D-Tags to track the results (results not posted as of my writing this.)

Down the west side. Mile 3 is mostly uphill, but I saw the Natural Living guy doing his usual speedwalk against the traffic, shouting encouragement. Ah, yes. NOW we're feeling good! I was hoping to see him. It doesn't feel like a race when he's not there. Mile 3, again, somewhere around 9:46.

Mile 4 is mainly downhill. Very crowded, thanks to people and a narrower roadway thanks to show pile-up on the sides. I see the finish line and I try to push the last few hundred feet. Crowd notwithstanding, just before I cross the line I hit my watch...

Miracles do happen, I suppose.

Of course, my time is not official. But it doesn't matter. The point is, I didn't get caught up in the racing. I came out to have a good run, and hopefully post a decent time. And I did both.

This makes me feel a lot better about the training to come. I want so badly to do well during the marathon, and in Liam's honor, I'm not going to slack off. Even if I'm running 15-minute miles, they'll be the best 15-minute miles I can squeeze out. But it's nice to see at this stage that I am capable of more, and I intend to deliver.

On the Road Again...

So here is how I am responding to Gretchen's call to action:

Since I already have an entry into the Nautica NYC Triathlon, I'm going to run it as a "Choose Your Own" event for Fred's Team. That way, I can open my fundraising page early (next month!) and start fundraising now, and then once the marathon fundraising page starts in April, I can pick up from there.

So even though I'm sure you've bought lots and lots of cookies, when my fundraising page opens, I hope you will donate to my fundraising efforts as well. All the money goes to the same place -- pediatric cancer research at MSKCC.

Liam's passing has also literally motivated me into action. When I first heard the news, I put on my running clothes and headed to Central Park. I ran up to the bridle path, then around the path -- snow, ice and all. Normally I enjoy running on ice and snow because the precarious footing can make even the dullest route engaging. But I wasn't running for enjoyment.

It was a shortish run -- four and a half miles -- but having part of it on ice made it super-strenuous. It helped get a lot of anger out, and because I really needed to pay attention to my footing, I couldn't really think about much else.

Today was the first Team workout in preparation for the NYC Half. As I've said in prior posts, I'm not running the NY Half, but I'm training with the Team as if I was. So at 8:00 am on a 30 degree day, a little over a dozen of us showed up in the Park for a 7-miler. I only did 6, because the longest I've done to date is 5 1/2.

It was not a great run for me. I find that under 35 degrees I have a little trouble breathing, and that wears me out. I wore a bandana over my mouth, but it got wet and uncomfortable. There's also a very fine line between freezing and sweating. I go from "I need to warm up" to "Holy crap, I'm hot." There is no period of "warm." And when I removed my outer layer, all the layers underneath were wet, so then I'm cold again. Grrr. Need we mention I'm one of the slowest people there? I had to walk three times.

Nevertheless, I'm glad I went. I'm glad to be with the Team, and I'm glad to be running at all.

What I need to do is not compare myself to where I was when I was at my fittest and fastest. I want to be happy with where I am now. What worries me is that I feel I am making a pretty good effort now, and if this is where I am at 80 percent effort, what is it going to take to improve? This is going to be one tough training season. I know I have what it takes to get through it mentally, but do I have it physically? That's the question.

Progress? You Be the Judge.

Trying to be good about sticking to a workout plan. I'll give myself a C plus. Here's why:

Monday I sort of overdid it. Went to the gym (for the first time in months, I may add), ran on the treadmill, which I loathe, for 23 whopping minutes at a 9:50 pace. I don't loathe running, I loathe it on the treadmill. I feel like a hamster. It doesn't matter what I have there to distract me, I get insta-bored. I can run the same trail in Central Park 900 times -- and I have -- and while it's mind-numbing, it's not nearly as boring as a treadmill. Anyways, I was proud of my 23 minutes.

But the real reason I was there was to get my arse back in the pool, and after a few stretches, it was my turn in the water, and I had the whole lane to myself for nearly 45 minutes. I was pretty happy at how much I remembered as far as stroke technique goes, and was able to go two laps at a time. Granted, the pool is maybe five feet long (it's a hotel pool, after all. NYSC has a club in the Courtyard by Marriott on 49th Street.) but after a few months away, it was a good start.

Well, it was good that it was overdid, because I had no time the rest of the week to get back to the gym -- or to put it another way, I didn't, until Friday. Teammate and assistant coach David made me promise to go to the gym, and said he'd go with me. So on Friday morning, we went to a gym semi-close to where he works, and close to where I'd be working that day, and he led me through a pretty intense leg workout. As much as I hate getting up early, I know that if I don't work out early, chances are good I won't go later. So I'm glad we went, and I enjoyed the company. Ex-roomie Bill and I used to work out together once a week when he was doing a small group training session and needed an extra gym session. I miss those. As much as I enjoy running solo, I prefer being in a gym with a partner.

Did I say ex-roomie? Yes, Bill moved out in the fall, having found love, and they moved in together in a gorgeous house up in Westchester. So I am solo again, and debating looking for a new roomie. On one hand, I enjoy the company. On the other, I like walking around the house nekkid sometimes. What's a girl to do?

Saturday was supposed to be the Fred Lebow 5-Miler in the Park, but because of the impending snowstorm that ultimately didn't really amount to anything, they postponed it to Sunday AM. Bad news for me, because Saturday night was a dear friend's birthday, and I was not about to not celebrate. Fortunately, NYRR decreed that the race counted towards the 9+1, regardless of whether they ran it, so two down, 7+1 to go. I wonder if it's possible to get the nine races without ever running a single race? Let me test this theory a little more...

So yes, I did indeed oversleep, but did very much want to get a five-miler in anyway. And I tried. But there was just no having it today. I could not get my breathing right at all. I got up Cat Hill and had to stop. Ditto at the Fred statue. At that point, I realized it best to turn it into a three miler and just head back from whence I came. I think that at below a certain temperature, I just am not able to take in enough oxygen or something. That's my hypothesis, at least, because during the Midnight Run, it was 40 degrees and I had no issues. Today's run was 30 degrees, and I had plenty of issues. I am a mouth breather, which I know isn't great in cold weather, and I tried keeping my mouth closed more during the run back, which did help, but it was still a byatch. And the four glasses of wine and champagne last night probably didn't help much with my efforts today, either.

On the non-running front, I bit the bullet and will be going on my first JDate date this week, although after receiving one of the lamest opening lines from JDaters this week -- "You're pretty. I want to take you to dinner" -- I am really ready to get off that site for good. I have had friends tell me that there are other sites that are much less of a meat market for women and aren't hostile to members of the Tribe (and I ain't talking about Cleveland Indians fans). Yes, it is flattering to be told I'm pretty, but coming from someone 20 years older than me -- it just makes me feel, for lack of a better term, icky.

And now, off to continue working on a transcript for the deposition of what I can only describe as the world's most uncooperative witness. Enjoy the following testimony, in which the lawyer handed the witness a financial document:

LAWYER: I am handing you Plaintiff's Exhibit 7. Do you recognize it?

WITNESS: Yes.

LAWYER: What do you recognize it to be?

WITNESS: A piece of paper.

Such brilliance goes on for nearly eight hours. Ah, the legal profession. Who said it wasn't entertaining?